Boys of Summer

AL Hotties

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Ahhh...the American League. Where the AL East alone can keep a girl(or guy...not trying to hate on the brothers!) busy for years. I thank my main man, God, for creating the pinstripes and putting them on the fruits of His labour. Amen.

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Why is Vernon Wells(Toronto Blue Jays) so fine? It burns my corneas to look at him, but I HAVE to.

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So nice, I had to do it twice. (Bobby Es-ta-lay-ya)

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Oh my Saviour! My sexy Jesus Colome(Tampa Bay Devil Rays).

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Yeah, yeah, yeah...I know Tino Martinez(Tampa Bay Devil Rays) isn't a Yankee anymore, but he should be! I'd like to go on the record as saying Tino is the finest thing to EVER play baseball. He is the finest there ever was, is, and ever will be. The end.

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This picture makes me pray Brian is straight. The arms! THE ARMS!!!!

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Larry Bigbie(Baltimore Orioles) has that drawl that reminds me of a cowboy, and you know what they say...."save a horse, ride a cowboy"!

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I don't care that Doug Mirabelli(Boston Red Sox) plays for the Devil. He's sexy.

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This is Jorge Posada(NY Yankees) after we have sex. Yup, I like it with the gear on!

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Javier Vazquez(NY Yankees) is hotter now that he's in pinstripes.

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This is the dopest picture of Alex Rodriguez(NY Yankees) EVER! I used to hate him, then wanted to stab him in the eye when he joined the Yanks, but he's growing on me. I can now nod in agreement when people say he's hot.

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I gave much consideration as to whether Mike Mussina(NY Yankees) is worthy of being on this page. If he wasn't a Yankee, he wouldn't be. Lucky for him, he plays for the right team!

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Kyle Loshe(Minnesota Twins) is foxy!

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Jose is even finer when he gets to touch me. (I cropped myself out of this bad boy!)

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 You may think Alex Escobar(Cleveland Indians) is ugly, but you're wrong! He's such a cute little gremlin!

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Not sure if Carlos Pena(Detroit Tigers) is ultra fine? Just ask him. He'll set you straight.

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Fernando Vina(Detroit Tigers) is my sexy, stumpy, geriatric, little man!

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Upon arriving in Cleveland last season, I was informed that Jody Gerut(Cleveland Indians) was married to several of the female stadium dwellers. Add me to the list please!

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Upon hearing about Bobby Kielty's arrival in Oakland, Barry Zito(Oakland A's) realized he was no longer the hottest guy on the team, and had this reaction.

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Yeah, we thuggin, rollin on dubs, off up in da club....I love that Mark Teixeira(Texas Rangers) is such a thuggy white boy.

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Joel Pinero(Seattle Mariners) has creepy eyes. That's okay...we can do it with his hat on.

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Bobby EstaSEXY is SEXY! (Bobby Estalella, Toronto Blue Jays)

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Miguel Batista(Toronto Blue Jays) is my sexy, Latin, Danny Zucco.

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Yeah, I don't really find Rocco Baldelli(Tampa Bay Devil Rays) hot, but he's a cool guy, and the ladies see to like him, so I included him in the love fest.

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Anyone else in this outfit would look stupid. Not Tino though! He so purty!

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Just one more of Tino. His hotness deserves it.

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Brian Roberts(Baltimore Orioles) is hot. That I can vouch for. Now, whether he likes the boys, or whether he likes the girls? That's a whole 'nother story! I'll get on it and let you know.

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Luis Matos(Baltimore Orioles)...even with a man purse, he FINE!

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It's so wrong of me to even look at Nomar Garciaparra(Boston Red Sox), that I had to post the gayest picture of him I could find. GO YANKEES!

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Just bitch slap him Jorge! He's even finer when he's yelling at people...which is pretty much all the time.

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This is the only photo where he doesn't look at ALL feminine. If he looked like this all the time, he'd be my favourite!

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Jon Garland(Chicago White Sox) is literally the ONLY Chi Sox that qualifies for "hot". Thank goodness he's extra fine and can pick up the slack for the rest of the busted team.

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Jose Bautista(Kansas City Royals) is my mini Jorge, with a splash of Nomar. I call him Homar.

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All I wanna do is a zoom-zoom-zoom and a boom-boom. I don't know why, but I feel the need to sing that every time I see David DeJesus(Kansas City Royals).

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Coco Crisp(Cleveland Indians) is just as yummy as the cereal he shares a name with!

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Ben Broussard(Cleveland Indians) - I ain't never seen the brother, but I had to give whitey some love, and he be fine!

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Even while giving the "what the fuck...." look, Mark Mulder(Oakland A's) is HOT!

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Even with his neon orange hair and freckles galore, Bobby Kielty(Oakland A's) is the definition of sexy!

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They call Francisco Rodriguez(Anaheim Angels) "K-Rod". I don't know why. They should call him "Hot Rod", cuz he's fine. But, that would be a super gay nickname......

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Kelvim Escobar(Anaheim Angels) = pure sex!

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It's talent that makes Ichiro Suzuki(Seattle Mariners) sexy.